Tolerance

I recently heard a speaker talking about the difference in tolerating someone and loving them. It made a big impression on me.

I don't know about you but I would much rather be loved rather than tolerated.
Yet, I realized I often tolerate people rather than loving them.

I suspect God would not have commanded us to love people if the loving depended on something outside of us. If their behavior, hygiene, religion, intelligence, charisma or temperament were key, His command would have been to be lovable not to love.

I came up with some signs that you are tolerating a person rather than loving them.
I have to ask myself:

• Am I suppressing my underlying dislike of this person to interact with them socially?- that's tolerance not love
• Do I feel an internal cringe instead of a grin when they walk into the room?- that's tolerance not love
• Is it almost impossible to find a positive comment to make about this person or to formulate a prayer for them?- that's tolerance not love
• Do I have unexpressed doubts they can ever experience the love of God? that's tolerance not love.

and finally

• Do I treat them with kindness out of guilt or duty? that's tolerance not love.

Here's what I know about me:
I don't have the capacity to transform Tolerance into Love.
I don't even desire to transform it most of the time. It just seems like too much work.

Here's what I know about God:
He has the capacity to transform Tolerance into blindingly beautiful Love.
He desires deeply to do that and He only needs an open door into a heart to do all the work.

I have been thinking about this for 2 weeks and I have a feeling I will be thinking about it for years to come.

Tuesday's Child

My husband celebrated his birthday yesterday and it was a day of contrasts.
I was up pretty late the night before.
Here he is innocently sleeping 30 minutes before his birthday- (he's going to love that I posted this picture).

That picture is pretty symbolic of our relationship. He is definitely the more innocent, unsuspecting, goodhearted one. I have a kooky sense of humor, devious thought processes and a good nature that depends on the intervention of the Holy Spirit.

The day before we had taken our dog to the vet. She was 12.5 years old and suffering greatly.

I got the call yesterday morning that it was time to end her suffering. I think I cried harder at having to tell my sweet husband on his birthday morning that we had to do this, than over the actual loss. She lived a long and happy dog life and I hated to think of her suffering.

Noelle I will sincerely miss you- you were a good companion and easy to care for.

At the end of the day- while eating my husbands favorite meal: Buffalo Wild Wings and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies as a family- I found myself feeling very thankful for the life I have. And especially for the immeasurable gift God has given me in my husband.

Happy Birthday to you sweet heart but I think the rest of us celebrate it more because of our good fortune you were born and are a part of our lives.

Off Trend

I am always weirdly just left or right of any great Trend. Right now it is super trendy to be an Urban Mom with mad knitting/crafting skills, who takes her kids to beautiful parks or to be a Country Mom with chickens, dogs, cats, who has cowboy boot wearing kiddos.

I live in the country but I don't like taking care of the fish in our fish tank. My son hates to sweat or deal with biting insects, hence his battle cry every weekend we try to force him out of the house "I am not an outside person". Hey, we did get them to the local fair this weekend so score one for outdoor activity.

 Yeah, he still hated being hot but the fair has some consolation in that department too.

When I read blogs or books by parents I want to learn from, I am often left feeling off trend. Am I not caring enough? Am I too sensitive? Am I going to set them on a path that will burst into flames, smash them in two and EJECT THEM INTO SPACE!!!!  
This sequence of pics shows a ride that does a fine job of illustrating my point.

Oh, yeah son we can totally do this! (I am on the side lines freely admitting I would never ride this ride)

Ring of Fire, eh.

Don't worry they did not see a thing, eyes were closed for the entire ride.

Stumbling off the ride both grinning crazily and vowing never to ride again.

I have to admit I struggle with fear.

One of the best things I did pick up lately was "Do not make parenting decisions out of fear".

As a Christian I have to live out this verse-  
2 Timothy 1:7

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 

It's not just true for parenting, but for every other act in life.

Don't choose a parenting plan out of fear but out of power and love and self-control.

Don't pick a diet out of fear but out of power, love and self-control.

Don't chose a spouse out of fear but out of power, love and self-control.

You get the idea, now just apply it to the very next choice you have to make. It's pretty interesting how much fear runs around in our lives.

Encouragment

I can feel it in my bones, in my spirit- There is a great need for encouragement. Having seen "Courageous" this weekend, I am of the mind to "en-courage" someone else and myself.

October is a good month for it. A change in temps and sunny weather are a natural encouragement.

The truth is it's hard to see beauty in thorny situations- pain is great at distracting us.

It's not about having the strength of will to overcome, but surrendering our will to the one who has already overcome. Dark times ask us questions like "Do I really trust God?", "Is He getting it all wrong?", "Will He allow me to crumble?". Questions we normally like to pretend don't exist.

This weekend I heard several stories along this theme but the one that stuck with me the most was this one.

A solider in the desert traveling with his company runs into a sand storm. He is a Christian so he begins to pray that God will remove the storm so they can make it across the desert and complete their mission. The others watch as he prays. The storm continues to rage and finally they make camp and prepare to sleep. The solider is angry. Why has God ignored his cries? Where is his witness now?

In the morning they all awake to see a path cleared by the storm across the desert. Directly in their path are three exposed landmines. In that moment the solider knows what God had always known. He has a purpose. His ways are just. Our vision is blurred.

Take courage friend. Release striving and be in faith. See the light always before us.

1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake(alive) or asleep (dead) we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (Italicized words added by me)

Am I cursed?

Haven't we all wondered this at one time? Am I cursed?


I was reading Deuteronomy chapter 11 last week and the idea of curses and blessings stuck to my brain from that chapter. I highly recommend you read it.


Basically Israel is poised to cross into the promised land- the descriptions of it are glowing. A paradise, a place with abundance around every corner. But... Danger Will Robinson, temptations around every corner as well. Blessings and Curses.


For them the danger was not in lack but in the available options.


Following the advice of Gilbert to Anne in Anne of Greengables- I write about what I know.


I know a life very similar to what the promised land sounds like. I am an American Christian. I have a home (Cozy and dry), access to clean water, food, medical care, loving family and friends, freedom to worship, etc...basically more abundance than 90% of the world population.


But I have to navigate some major issues daily related to that abundance that can have dire consequences on my character. Frankly- I can rain down curses on myself in a snap.


One such example- Mommyhood. Last week one blog I follow discussed the delimma of fitting it all in. http://www.kellehampton.com/2011/09/fitting-it-all-in-hallmark.html


She tries to address the guilt and comparisons that happen between mothers and that we internally inflict on ourselves.


Moms have more options now than in anytime in history yet all that abundance has led to a shower of curses in the place of blessings.

The Israelites has to keep perspective. They had been freed by the very hand of God from Egypt- hence the wise perspective was:

He got to call all the shots captivity and He also gets to in the promised land. 

Ditto for us.  Our circumstances do not get to call the shots.

Because you can Work, not Work, homeschool, not homeschool, buy something, not buy something, marry, divorce, eat, diet, run, watch TV, etc... Does not mean you should.

Ask God, read His word, let Him guide you- avoid the curse of trying to have it all just because you can.

There are Idols hidden in all that abundance.

Caveat/Flipside/"oops lets not go there" of it all-

Because you cannot be healthy, work, run, marry, have a child, speak without a stutter, muscle out of depression, obsessive thoughts, etc... also does mean that loss gets to call the shots about who you are or what you mean to God.

You might say, "Well those things really are curses!".

If you have a loss wholly out of your control it is not a curse.

The curses of Deuteronomy were chosen. They were chosen option to forsake God's direction. And Bonus, repentance and faithfulness were the cure to that curse. (Deut.11:26)

The key wasn't the abundance, it was the heart attitude. Same key for times of loss.

You have to ask God, "Do I have a choice here?, in my actions, in my attitudes?" and really seek God's answer.

Christian unless you have the Joy of knowing God is in charge of your life and you can trust Him abundance or famine then you will feel cursed even when you are not. 

We are in revival this week and our guest Pastor gave his testimony last night. He had stomach cancer in his 30's. His doctors gave him a terminal diagnosis but he prayed to have a few years to raise his young children. An experimental surgeon saw him and did an experimental procedure and he lived to raise his children. He had to put a rubber tube down his throat several times a day for the rest of his life but he lived and he had joy. He preached the gospel. The cancer has returned in multiple areas of his body. Both of is retina's have detached. One was repaired but the other has not been. It looks grim. But he preaches with such joy and passion it washes over you like a wave. He revels in the abundance of his 9 grandchildren and he is only in his late 50's or early 60's.

He makes choices every day about how to view and interact with his world. So do I. So do you.

The Bad Guy

Funny how this happens.
Apparently any effort to point out inconsistency is right up there with eating baby sea turtles.
The fast train to "unpopularville" is fueled by by statements like "Hey, I don't think the Bible supports that".

But really it's nothing new. Jesus got the same feed back.
He was not a guy to over look "little" lapses in behavior. He called people out on lazy belief (Matt. 23:23), sexual indulgence (John 4:17) and multiple other examples of sin.

The social leaders of his day had the whole "Where does He get off?" attitude too. The indignation got to the degree they decided the world would just be better off with out Him.

I am not blind to why truth speaking has a bad wrap. I know people use it to beat people over the head, to lift themselves up and take advantage of the supposed moral high ground.

The only way truth speaking can cut it, is if it's done in a ricochet approach. I have to be as hard hitting on myself about all the truth of the Bible, if I want anything I say to someone else can be taken seriously.

That's why Jesus could pull it off and that's why we only have a shot with the Holy Spirit in us.
But if we deny our Christ given example of calling sin what it is and take the coward's road, the friend filled, life's a great party road, - we will make the most powerful force in the universe look weak.
He (Jesus) is The Way, The Truth and The Life.

I can play the villain of Satan's little soap opera. I can be cast as the starched collar or the crazed radical- whatever.

But if one word I say opens a person's eyes to the freedom that waits just beyond the razor wire sin has erected in their life- Boom! Holy Ghost explosion.

Poverty

Luke 21

The Widow’s Offering

 ¹ As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. ² He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ³ “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. ⁴ All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

I recently finished reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan. It was as powerful as Crazy Love but in a different way. When he pointed out the story of the Widow as our example of sacrificial (painful) giving, it really struck a chord in me.

"She gave out of her poverty"

What was I poor in? The truth is it ain't money. God has blessed the heck out of us in that corner. Even by the insane American standards. We give money to the Lord, even sometimes when it causes us to give up something we wanted but we stay fed, clothed, primped and pampered without too much worry.

Deep down I had a admit I am poor in patience, restraint, and humility.
So how can I give from those areas of poverty?
Ironically God provided me the way before I ever read the book.

Like most times in my life, I do something good by accident. I think God plans it that way so I can clearly see He gets all the credit. My husband and I were talking and some how the topic of clothing came up. Shopping for clothes is my hobby. He stated that I could never go a whole year with out buying clothing. I, being one of the most stubborn people ever born, said I will show you buddy old pal. I proudly decreed "I shall not buy one item of clothing for a year". If I succeed I get to shave his head.

Now jump to me reading the book. I can clearly see God actually orchestrated that conversation. One area were I admittedly ignored God was buying clothing. I would sneak things, hide receipts and refuse to return items even though my careful and financially responsible husband would ask me to. I don't even work outside my home to justify these purchases. I just like clothes.

Now I have to face up to what is going through my head. I am making list of what I need to buy when the bet is over on 8/2/2012. I have to abstain from browsing ebay, TJ Maxx, Ross, Target, Wal-mart, Chadwicks, etc...
It scares me a bit how hard this actually is. I have to stop thinking I am going to make up for lost time when this is over. I have to realize how twisted my view of clothes has become.

I really think that is what giving out of poverty means for me. Looking at Christ/God/the Holy Spirit and then seeing everything else in the shadow of Him. Now, in that place give something.

It might be a hobby, a career, a possession, money, a relationship, the one thing you would not even let you mind consider giving to him. Go there.

Freedom is seeing the jail cell never actually had a lock on it in the first place. Take the Holy Spirit's hand and step out.