Along with getting married, having children is one of the most eye opening things I have ever done.
What has it opened my eyes to?
Me.
I thought I really knew "me" many moons ago.
I though I was a pretty calm rational gal.
I thought I had a realistic view of the world.
Wrong-o.
I have had to come to terms with things I cannot do but seriously though I could.
I can influence people- my little people and my hubby among many others.
I cannot change a person - not one single one.
I can love people but I cannot do it alone. I need the well of Christ flowing out of me because without Him my well is actually a dust pit. A dusty pit full of my own vast needs only Christ can meet.
I cannot learn things for my kids.
This is one of the hardest ones.
I want to learn optimism for them, I want to learn hard work and self-value that comes from Christ for them.
I cannot.
I cannot download, upgrade, memory add or USB any of this to my kids.
I can influence what they experience but they have to get character and meaning for themselves.
I did not realize how hard a time I would have with, what seems to be a pretty obvious truth.
I will not lie my pre-kid fantasy was that little clones of myself and my husband would emerge into this world full of all the good character traits it took us 20 or more years to learn.
Yes, I think deep down I was that delusional.
What I have learned is that I have a secret weapon, PRAYER.
Prayer for myself that I will let God and not my insecurities guide my parenting.
Prayer that God will work in their little hearts just like He did in mine to guide them to Him.
I will not be lazy in my part of the parenting or being a wife but I will lay my heart bare before God so that He can continue to point out what I need to realize about myself and others in light of Him.
