Figuring it out

I spend a decent amount of time thinking about things.
A blessing and a curse.
I think about things I heard, things I read, things I said and things I wish I had not said.

Today I was thinking about the old adage "Be happy with what you have because you could be worse off, like (fill in the blank with a person in a bad situation- the person fighting cancer, the person in deep poverty, etc...).

I knew someone who really had a problem with that saying. They questioned why their pain had to compare or why pain was ranked. Good questions.

Which made me think and think and think about how we often say or think things like the this adage.

Then it struck me, the only way the old saying works for me is if instead of trying to put myself in the shoes of a person with a greater struggle, I put them into my shoes.

When I came back from a poverty stricken part of Mexico, I felt weird about how much stuff I had.
Then I tried to imagine how a poverty stricken mother who's children walked dirt floors, who had limited clean water and little medical care would feel if she were given my home and life.

I imagined how the color and texture of every item in my home might become a feast for her eyes. The feel of the cold floor, the fabric of the sofa, the taste of the food, the clothes, accessories, TV, etc... would be a million little thrills. Tiny moments of wonder over the fact that these were hers.

Suddenly I found myself seeing my home in that way. I felt like princess in a fairytale. I felt the wonder and awe of my plain little home reborn.

I thought today about what a mother with terminal cancer might feel to be placed down in my life. To find herself in a strong healthy body, with two beautiful children, a loving husband and no specter over her time with them.
I can imagine her touching their faces often, playing long slow games, smiling and laughing at all the ways they were special. Giving up molding the ideal relationships and all the pressure of that with her family simply because she is secure that she can be present.

I find myself feeling and thinking these things and I begin to relax.

It's about relishing your life.
That's what the old adage was trying to tell me, but I did not figure it out until today. It's not about rating pain or suffering, it's about how different perspectives can reveal what is hiding in plain sight.